The Resort Characters You Meet Every Holiday
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Holidays aren’t just about the destination. They’re about the people you encounter… and the ridiculous nicknames you give them.
“Oh look, it’s Buffet Bill again.”
From the pool to the buffet, resorts are a melting pot of personalities, each one adding their own flavour to your trip.
Derren Litten nailed this perfectly with Benidorm — a show that proves resorts are an absolute goldmine of quirky characters.
If you’ve ever stayed at an all-inclusive resort, chances are you’ve met at least one of these characters.
Let’s take a look at some of the classic personalities you’re almost guaranteed to meet.
1: The Overly Friendly Couple
They’ve been to six resorts in the last few years and are living their best life — spending the rental income from that investment flat, courtesy of an inheritance boost.
Within minutes you’ll get the full lowdown:
Who’s who, where to go, and which staff member can “sort you out” if you fancy something stronger than what’s on the menu.
We met a couple like this in Mexico… and let’s just say things escalated quickly.
After a few too many poolside cocktails, the wife got a bit handsy in the water.
Then, on her way out, she fell, took out a wooden railing, and had to be helped back to the room like a scene from a low-budget soap.
Pace yourselves, troops.
Spot them:
Neck-deep in cocktails by mid-afternoon, shouting song requests at the bar playlist and complaining:
“Got any Genesis?”
Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em.
2: The ‘Classy But Cracking’ Couple
They stroll in like they’ve just stepped off a yacht in Marbella.
Matching designer sunglasses.
Coordinated outfits.
That subtle “we’re better than this place” energy.
She orders prosecco like it’s a personality trait.
He’s name-dropping Santorini and St Lucia within five minutes of small talk.
At first you think fair play…
Then you start listening.
Behind the oversized sunglasses and passive-aggressive smiles is a couple barely holding it together.
The cracks appear quickly.
Little jabs over dinner.
A raised eyebrow here.
A muttered “Of course you forgot” when he brings the wrong drink.
They keep it together in public… but take a wrong turn near the quiet end of the resort and the real show starts.
“You said we’d talk about this after the holiday.”
“I’m not doing this here.”
“Don’t embarrass yourself again.”
It’s like watching Made in Chelsea… if it was filmed in an all-inclusive in Cancún.
Spot them:
Poolside with rosé and books they’re clearly not reading.
The vibes look immaculate.
Until they’re not.
100% fake.
100% fascinating.
After watching Gavin & Stacey for the first time (yeah, I know), I’m pretty sure I’ve just described Dawn Sutcliffe and Pete Sutcliffe on holiday.
As Pam Shipman says, “I just love the drama.”
3: The Buffet Strategiser
This person treats the buffet like a battlefield — and they’ve mastered it.
First, they do a reconnaissance lap, casually strolling past every tray and making mental notes of the best options.
Then they execute the mission.
They return with a perfectly balanced plate like a Michelin-starred general.
They’ve already planned seconds and thirds before casually eyeing up dessert. Maybe a bit of cheese and crackers to finish… because after all:
“We’re on holiday.”
Meanwhile you’re standing there with a chaotic pile of pasta, chips and curry wondering why everything’s touching.
Spot them:
Perfectly organised plate. Zero spillage.
A smug look that says rookie mistake as they stroll past.
They probably won’t even show you the ropes.
Pass the baton, guys.
4: The Early Sunbed Crew
Up at 5am.
Armed with towels, paperbacks and that don’t-mess-with-me energy.
Their battleground? Poolside.
You’ll spot them sneaking out in the dark, towel in hand, giving a knowing nod to the one other person already lurking with the same mission.
It’s a silent understanding. A weird passive-aggressive club with no spoken rules — only glares.
They’ll claim four beds even though there’s only two of them.
“For when the sun moves”
A peg here.
A rolled-up magazine there.
It’s practically an art form.
Then they disappear for hours.
You’re left staring at an empty row of prime loungers while roasting on a wonky sunbed that slopes like a ski jump.
And dare you move their towel? Absolutely not.
Resort law will rain down on you — even though it’s technically against the rules.
Spot them:
Drinking coffee on the terrace later that morning saying:
“Can’t believe people don’t get up early on holiday.”
Calm down Brenda.
It’s 5:12am.
Some even start prowling around at midnight, looking chuffed like they’ve rediscovered their rebellious youth.
Wankers.
5: The Entertainment Team Reject
They’re not technically part of the staff…
But you’d be forgiven for thinking they are.
Night one and they’re front and centre at karaoke, belting out Sweet Caroline like there’s a record deal on the line.
By day two they’re leading aqua aerobics, calling bingo numbers and teaching the Macarena like they invented it.
They are everywhere.
First in line for volleyball.
Quiz nights.
Anything involving a microphone.
Miss their moment and they’ll sulk harder than your dad when the bar runs out of the good spirits.
“All-inclusive, my arse.”
The staff smile politely but secretly pray for their day off.
Other guests? Somewhere between mildly entertained and slightly concerned.
They treat the entertainment team like lifelong friends — tagging them in Instagram stories and dropping inside jokes no one else understands.
Spot them:
Hawaiian shirt.
Activity schedule clutched in hand.
Probably rehearsing a dance routine by the bar or telling you about their amateur dramatics career back home.
If they shout “one more song!” — run.
Final Thoughts
Holidays are about more than sunshine and sangria.
They’re about people.
The characters. The ones who make you laugh, roll your eyes, or give you stories you’ll tell for years.
From sunbed snipers to karaoke kings, resorts are a goldmine of human behaviour.
And let’s be honest — we’ve probably all been one of these characters at some point.
Or earned our own nickname.
“There’s our mates from the buffet again…”
Whether you’re people-watching behind your shades or accidentally befriending Buffet Bill, one thing’s certain:
It’s never boring.
Thanks for reading Episode 1 of Resort Characters You Meet Every Holiday.
Episode 2 is coming when we have enough characters and weird back stories we encountered on our travels
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- Is an All-Inclusive Resort Worth It?
- Spending Abroad Without The Fees
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